ok... so i haven't written on this blog since my existentialism class required me to do so. but i looked on my first blog and realized that i was really wrong about everything.
i think happiness is possible, but it is a fundamentally naive idea. so many people i know are in this life-long pursuit of "happiness," and i don't really think they understand the futility of this romantic ideal.
instead of thinking about happiness as a lasting idea, i view it as something that arises on the fly; there are moments surely when you can be ecstatically happy, but after a while everything has the capacity to go sour. this happens in almost every situation in life. when you achieve something, or realize something, or acquire something new, you don't tend to be bothered by the negative aspects of that thing. think of relationships, for example. the first kiss from a new lover is maybe one of the most exciting, euphoric experiences possible, but this doesn't last when you start to pick apart the imperfections and points of tension in your relationship. even a new job - i have snatched up jobs without even thinking about them, but after a while you realize that maybe the office asshole outweighs the benefits of the otherwise beneficial opportunites.
so i suppose this seems really bitter and perhaps even cynical, but after studying such an ostensibly bleak arena of philosophy i have realized that existentialism addresses the core issue of this fundamental crisis of desire and the fleeting nature of happiness. i have realised that all you can truly pursue is some kind of satisfaction in what you've done, and how you have been the self-creator of your own individuality. but please, don't get off on the possibility of actually being happy and staying happy because you've overcome a great achievement... because it isn't going to last. the human soul is constantly at odds with itself, consciousness is a perpetual dialectic that struggles with its opposing forces and desires.
