Dadaism (As opposed to Mamaism)

2008 presents itself as the year of Dadaism, a universal cultural revolution where human beings everywhere have decided that maternal-styled urinals should be placed upside down in order to increase efficiency.

First introduced in Zurich in the 1920’s, these customized reversed urinals have been scientifically proven to decrease splashback, reduce user anxiety, and increase the feelings of artistic merit when faced with the incredibly existential task of purging liquid waste.

Moreover, it has been suggested by biological scientific findings that users feel a tremendous surge of “self worth” after participating in a new method of urination which encourages pretentious, avant-garde, and surrealist artistic possibilities. It is believed by neurologists that these Dadaist receptacles exercise the imagination of human beings, revealing a fantastical, subconscious world of spirituality not typically found in reality, but in a deep dream state.

Inventor, pretentious artist, and senior marketer of the Dadaist toilet, Marcel Duchamp, openly spoke of the benefits of his toilet: “I love myself!” he told the press at the Dadaist New Urinal Conference last Wednesday. When asked about rival Max Ernst’s experimentations in collage media, he muttered that no amount of paste or glue could protect the artworks themselves from the corrosive effects of human urine.

Despite its mostly universal appeal, there are still resisters who disprove of the Dadaist New Urinal, namely the Cubists and Impressionists who insist that urination should remain an “imprecise” or “uncalculated” form of artistic expression. Jackson Pollock advocated at a conference last week that messy drips affirm the instability of the human psyche, and its difficulties of self-validation and affirmations of identity. The Cubists’ main argument is that the new Dadaist Urinal compromises the 90 degree angle necessary between the organ of urination and the receptacle, resulting in an obtuse angle which is wholly dissatisfying on every aesthetic level.

Regardless of these minor complains, the Dadaist urinals will be installed in every public bathroom within the next two weeks. It is rumored that Stalin will be autographing the ones in Russia, posthumously.

mongrels' oshawa: deliberating a metal revival?

The Mongrels’ debut album Oshawa presents itself to the indie music scene as a beacon of hope for the revival of heavy metal bands who… died out in the late 80’s. But fear not! This album as a whole is a solid effort by singer Amy Dyamite who can rail like a freight train.

Named after a rather industrial and noxious sounding Ontario city, Oshawa brings out a kind of raw humor that only one could overhear while working at a car wrecking lot. However, there’s far more to that, as the sextet borrows from Zeppelin’s mystical epic rock themes in songs such as “Contemplating the Wizard” which bring out that fantastical, metalesque sense of humor.

The album opens with "Bongo," a quasi-cacophonic guitar sludge of a song not unlike Iron Maiden trying to imitate The Darkness. Angry sounding, but actually fiercely hilarious lyrics surface in their songs “City Living” and “All In My Head,” where they break out the gang chorus riffs in innocuous synchrony. Tacky but somehow cool, they manage to include cowbell in the heart of the album, in “Needs Got Needs,” which was a complete surprise.

Coming full circle on this album, The Mongrels actually sound eerily like Heart. It’s a toss up between late 70’s, 80’s metal-rock that occasions electro synthetics, fronted by a hardcore female vocalist and five guys who probably have distastefully large hairstyles.